So I am sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office and the TV is on. It is tuned to ABC rather than FOX (the station of choice here in town) and for that I was thankful. The View was on, and though the chattering and the way the hosts talk over each other can be annoying, it was at least not Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh.

But then their conversation turned to Pat Robertson and his heinous remarks about Haiti. I was glad to hear all four of them – including conservative Christian Elizabeth Hasselbeck, roundly condemn Robertson. I was surprised also to hear Elizabeth defend Obama and what she felt was a veiled reference to Robertson in Obama’s reassurance that Haiti would “not be forsaken.”

But the conversation quickly came to annoy me. “Why,” I thought, “am I forced to sit here and listen to all this crap about what their god would or would not do?” You cannot escape it. This is a debate we would not even be having, we would not be forced to listen to and to endure, if it were not for monotheism. There was no Satan in the days of polytheism for people so sell their souls to. This was an accusation that could not have been made. And therefore, a debate which could not have taken place.

We cannot escape it, however. We see it on TV, we see it in magazines, in newspapers, and on the Web. Hate, hate, hate. Condemnation after condemnation.

It is only at times like this, it seems, that any sound of condemnation comes from moderate Christians. Most of the time, the hate goes unremarked. Generally, the only people who speak up are atheists. Even many Pagans refuse to speak up. I’ve been told – scolded would be a better word – by Pagans who tell me that “Pagans don’t do that.” We Pagans are supposed to make nice with Christians. Apparently, no matter how egregious the offense.

And I am offended. I take my own advice. I turn the channel, I flip to a different page of the of the paper or the magazine I’m reading, or go to a different website. But when you’re out in public, you’re a hostage. You have no control over the TV while you’re waiting to see your doctor or your dentist, or while you’re eating your meal. And in a town like this, it’s very rare to find a TV tuned to ABC.  If the girl behind the desk hadn’t been so busy, I’d have gotten up to tell her how much I appreciated them keeping the TV on a channel other than FOX. It was that remarkable, I thought.

But even having to fend off the propaganda, to dodge the shitstorm of falsity and disinformation spewing from the conservative media, is an aggravation. These people, I think, must be insecure about their god and their beliefs to have to invoke him with every other word. Even Elizabeth Hasselbeck managed to get a “holy spirit” thrown in for good measure before all was said and done. Maybe she was afraid of being forsaken if she didn’t.

I am a pious Heathen. I am devout. I love my gods and my religion. I do not, however, feel the need to mention them in every breath. They are part of my life. I am secure enough not to have to keep them and my beliefs on the tip of my tongue to prove it to anyone. And I know Jesus spoke of this, of this public display of piety that conservative Christians seem to think is required of them today. But they cherry-pick his words, just as they cherry-pick the “Old” Testament, choosing what to believe and what not to believe as if it’s a multiple choice with no wrong answers.

Frankly, I would be happy if I never had to hear another word out of them. If I want to know what they think about their god or their beliefs I’ll visit their website or blog or read their autobiography or follow their Twitters. Otherwise, I’d like to get through supper just once, or a doctor’s appointment, without having to hear about the holy spirit this and the holy spirit that. Do you think that’s too much to ask?

I was thinking about Twitter this morning, my thoughts triggered by a news item I saw on the subject. It’s not something I think a great deal about. I am there (Alheithinn if you’re interested) but I don’t use it much. Sometimes to Tweet about a blog post, or I can use it to Tweet updates about MosMaiorum (I anticipate a few of those this winter), or I can use it to find news stories posted by my Digg brothers and sisters (I’ve done more of that this week as I deal with the H1N1 here), but one thing I don’t do is Tweet about me – about the minutiae of my life. I’ve always said, with regards to government spying, that anyone bored enough to want to spy on me is welcome to it, and I pity them. They’ll be bored silly. I really don’t care much about the minutiae of my own life, let alone the minutiae of other lives (I mean, I love y’all but c’mon!). I don’t need to know what so-and-so is doing from one minute to the next. I’m too busy doing something myself. And if you try to record your life in that sort of detail, are you really living your life at all? Or just “aping for the camera” so to speak?

This all leaves out another use for Twitter – our gods given right to say and do whatever we’re thinking about from minute to minute – and not in the privacy of our own homes (where we’re protected from ourselves) but right out there in front of the gods and everybody. Some post pictures they later regret. Some spew verbal diarrhea.

It also provides people with an opportunity to destroy their lives instantly. The old “stop and think before you open your mouth” thing seems to go missing on Twitter where people become accustomed to utter every random thought. Look at John McCain’s daughter and her impulsively snapped and posted image, or more seriously, Larry Johnson, running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, who not only lost his job with the Chiefs this week (being released) but was also fined by the NFL $213,000, the amount he would have earned for the game he’ll miss due to being suspended by the team. Apparently, Larry Johnson’s latent anti-gay attitudes surface when his fingers ran away from his brain and he said what he most likely had been thinking all along.

So here we are, able to sit back and watch lives implode all around us – and Tweet about them. It’s the new circle of life.

I can see where Twitter might have some useful applications. Some of those I mentioned above, for example. Or making plans and avoiding having to call a dozen people to discuss it. Of course, the downside is everybody being in your business but maybe that’s part of the thrill – I don’t know. I have yet to find a real application as far as religion goes but I probably haven’t given it enough thought. I just don’t think about Twitter all that much. I don’t understand the obsession people have with it. I’m not against social networking. I think it’s a great thing. I think it does make the world a smaller place, and people who can get to know each other across international borders are less likely to want to shoot at one another. Maybe someday, we’ll feel enough like a human family that a new sort of cosmotheism will be born, something that can transcend ethnic, religious, political, and cultural boundaries. I hope so. Things change. The Internet has changed since it started out. It will be interesting to see how Twitter changes and adapts and is adapted in the years to come.

Meanwhile, we’ll be amused or horrified by the occasional self-destructive episode of somebody who didn’t stop to think about what they were doing. At least on a blog, I have time to write a post (often on MS WORD), sleep on it, think about it, re-read it, sometimes not post it (I’ve had a few of those over the years). But Twitter is real time. Writing it yesterday makes it obsolete. You don’t sleep on it there. It’s “go,go,go!” all the time. That’s the whole point. Immediacy = relevance. Maybe I’m just too old for it. Time moves too fast and I want to take my time. Or maybe I’ve just found my comfort zone and I’m happy where I am.